Excerpts from 'An Interview with a Succubus', coming soon from Bizarre Publishing:
Q. Is there a Queen Succubus? A. No clue. Maybe? I don't really pay attention to politics.
Q. How many succubi are there? A. On the mortal plane? Not sure. We're not the most social creatures with our own kind. Territorial, perhaps, you know?
Q. Are there any cults around a succubus? A. I don't know. None around me, anyway. So far, you keep asking questions to which I don't have any satisfying answers. Sorry 'bout that.
Q. That's okay. Um, do you worship the Devil, Satan, the Morningstar? A. No. Do you? You seem to know some of the names on his passports.
Q. The Devil has passports? A. Next question.
Q. They say a succubus can be killed if stabbed in the heart. A. I think anything can be killed with a stab to the heart, right?
Q. How about decapitation? A. No, thank you. Q. No, I mean, can they survive decapitation? A. See the answer to the 'stabby heart' question.
Q. Are they immortal? A. Yes, unless they've been killed. Then they're dead.
Q. Wait - A. Next question.
Q. If a succubus dies, is it true they can transfer themselves to a human host and continue as a succubus? A. Did you read that somewhere? Was it the Internet?
Q. Okay, um, do little dolls of succubi with phrases written on them in Sheolic harm or frighten succubi? A. Are you okay? Seriously, let me get you some water...
Q. Huh? Oh, Thanks. They say succubi are very fast. A. Yes. Faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings at a single bound.
Q. I haven't asked you about leaping yet. A. That isn't a question. Ask it in the form of a question. Q. Can you leap tall buildings in a single bound? A. No, short buildings, yes. We can also levitate. Q. Levitate? A. Levitate.
Q. Is it true succubi are telepathic? A. Some are, some could be if they practiced more. The older you are, the more likely you have mastered what humans think of as telepathy.
Q. Do you, uh, know what I'm thinking right now? A. Yes, but I don't need to be telepathic to know that.
Q. Oh... um... How old are you? A. Old.
Q. How old? A. Didn't you mother tell you never to ask a lady's age? Q. That isn't an answer, is it? A. No, it isn't.
Q. Do blessed objects, crosses, holy water, prayers, sacred flames, consecrated ground and the like harm or can kill a succubus? Or celestial light or celestial weapons? A. I can't really say. Q. Is that because you can't say or won't say? A. Yes.
Q. How about a Devil's Trap? A. Under certain circumstances and with the right spells, it can hold a succubus or any demon for a while.
Q. What circumstances and what spells? A. Do you really think I'm going to tell you any of that? No, but I thought I'd ask anyway.
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